Building Community as a Mom When You’re Tired, Awkward, and Don’t Know What Pants Are Anymore

Let’s be real: building community as a mom in your 30s feels like trying to join a group chat that’s been active since 2012. Everyone already has their inside jokes, and you’re just over here, googling “funny mom memes” at 2 a.m. while your toddler uses your face as a trampoline.

I moved to Orlando with three kids, a closet full of leggings, and a desperate need for adult conversation that didn’t involve the words “potty” or “snack.” I was lonely, overwhelmed, and one more “we should hang out sometime” away from losing it.

So, I did something wild: I actively searched for my mom tribe.

The awkward art of making friends after 30

Here’s the thing: making friends as an adult is hard. Like, “trying to assemble IKEA furniture without instructions” hard. Research shows that starting at age 25, we begin to lose more friends than we make each year . By our 30s, our social circles shrink, and forming new, deep connections becomes increasingly challenging.

Why? Because life happens. Careers, kids, and the sheer exhaustion of adulthood leave little room for nurturing new friendships. Plus, the opportunities to meet new people diminish as we age. Gone are the days of bonding over late-night study sessions or spontaneous road trips.

But here’s the kicker: despite these challenges, we still crave connection. We want someone to text when our kid does something hilarious (or horrifying), someone to grab coffee with, someone who gets it.

How I found my mom tribe in Orlando

Photo by Kattie, Snackbitches

Determined not to become a cautionary tale, I took matters into my own hands. I started attending local events, joining Facebook groups, and saying “yes” to every mom meetup I could find.

But really helped me was I got out of my comfort zone and sent messages to different women asking them if they wanted to come with me to different events. And then one day I asked Eryn, owner of Orlando Mom, if she wanted to do a podcast episode with me (shoutout to when I did that, lol). Ever since then I've created a beautiful tribe that supports me in everything I do. That have cheered me on in all my endeavors. IDK what I'd do without them in my life now.

And because of that, I was inspired to create Coffee & Connection, where moms come together to laugh, cry, and consume copious amounts of caffeine.

Tips for building community as a mom

If you’re a mom feeling isolated, here are some steps to help you build your own community:

1. Be proactive: Don’t wait for friendships to happen. Seek out local events, join online groups, and put yourself out there.

   
   

2. Embrace vulnerability: Share your experiences, struggles, and triumphs. Authenticity fosters deeper connections.

   
   

3. Consistency is key: Regularly attend events or meetups. Familiarity breeds comfort and trust.

   
   

4. Start your own group: If you can’t find a community that fits, create one. Chances are, other moms are looking for the same thing.

   
   

Remember, building community takes time and effort, but the rewards — a sense of belonging, support, and friendship — are invaluable.

Building community as a mom isn’t about having a perfect social life; it’s about finding people who understand your journey. It’s about creating a space where you can be yourself, share your experiences, and feel supported.

So, if you’re feeling alone in the chaos of motherhood, know that you’re not alone. There’s a tribe out there waiting for you. You just have to take the first step.

Need help finding local mom groups or starting your own? Reach out—I’ve got resources, tips, and a whole lot of empathy to share.