What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom

The truth is, I don’t really think about what I wish I knew before becoming a mom. For me, it’s more about what I wish other people knew before stepping into this wild, beautiful, exhausting, and life-changing role.

Motherhood felt natural — but that doesn’t mean it was easy

When I became a mom at 19, I was already comfortable with some of the basics. Growing up, I was the much older sister (8 and 11 years older) to my two siblings, and my mom relied on me a lot. I was the built-in babysitter — not quite changing diapers, but definitely responsible for feeding, playing, and breaking up sibling fights. I even had “sleepovers” with my sister in my room.

So when I had my daughter, I wasn’t intimidated by the diaper changes or the sleepless nights. It felt almost natural, like a role I’d been rehearsing my whole life. But what I didn’t realize was just how much motherhood would reshape me — not just my routines, but me as a person.

What I thought motherhood was supposed to be

When I became a mom, I dove headfirst into what I thought a mom should be:

• Crafty

• Selfless

• A good cook

• Loving and nurturing, every second of every day

  
  

Basically, I decided to embody the picture-perfect Pinterest mom before Pinterest even existed. I was just a teenager trying to figure out who I was, and at the time, all I knew was that I was a mom.

What I learned when becoming a mom

It took years — years — to understand that being a mom isn’t about erasing yourself. Yes, I’m a nurturing person. I love taking care of others, feeding them, and playing with them (just don’t ask me to nurse a sick person, I’m not cut out for that, lol). But I’ve also learned that there’s a version of me that exists outside of motherhood, and that version is just as important.

What I wish women knew before becoming a mom

Becoming a mom is life-changing, but it’s not what most people expect — and that’s where the surprises (and sometimes the struggles) come in. After 16 years of raising kids, I’ve learned a few things that I wish someone had told me beforehand. Not about diaper changes or sleep schedules, but about the deeper truths of motherhood: the stuff that can make all the difference as you navigate this incredible journey. Here’s what I wish every woman knew before stepping into this role:

1. You’ll never be ready — and that’s okay

Here’s the secret no one tells you: no one is ever truly ready to become a mom. It doesn’t matter how many books you read, how many classes you take, or how many baby gadgets you buy. Motherhood will always be a leap of faith.

But you don’t have to have everything figured out. You’ll learn as you go, and you’ll surprise yourself with how naturally some things come (and how quickly you’ll recover when they don’t).

2. You don’t have to give up who you are

A lot of women think they have to leave behind the things they love when they become moms. But that’s just not true. Your baby will learn to adapt to your routine, not the other way around.

When I was a teen mom in college, I liked to sleep late. So my daughter and I had a routine: wake up briefly at 6:30 for a snack, then go back to sleep until 10 a.m. It worked for us! Sure, I didn’t know then about all the “baby schedules” people talk about, but I made it work.

If you love hiking, your baby can learn to hike with you — there are backpacks and wagons for that. If you’re not a morning person, your baby can adapt to your late starts. Your life doesn’t have to stop; it just shifts.

3. Life keeps moving, even with more kids

By the time I had my fourth baby, I realized that life doesn’t stop for a newborn. With older kids in school and activities, we couldn’t pause everything just because we had a baby. Was it hard? Absolutely. But we made it work. You push through, you adjust, and you keep going.

4. Motherhood is the most fulfilling thing you’ll ever do

If there’s one thing I wish every woman knew before becoming a mom, it’s this: motherhood will change you in ways you can’t imagine. It’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done, and my kids are my greatest pride and joy.

I wouldn’t necessarily recommend getting pregnant at 18 — I won’t sugarcoat how hard that was — but for me, it was the perfect timing. I am forever grateful for my journey into motherhood, even with all its challenges.

What I hope you take away

Motherhood is messy and unpredictable, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You’ll never feel fully prepared, and you’ll always have moments of doubt. But you don’t have to give up who you are to be a great mom.

Your life doesn’t end when you have kids — it evolves. And if you let it, motherhood will teach you more about yourself than you ever thought possible.

So, to anyone thinking about becoming a mom, or already on this journey: embrace it. It’s hard, it’s beautiful, and it’s absolutely worth it.